Category: Dating and Relationships
this topic came about cause i was reading the love swop board....just to waste time, i guess, and it got me thinking about what "i love you" means to people. it just seems like thoes 3 words just get thrown around so much, that some people just say them just because it's what they think it's what the other person wants to here, and they really don't mean it at all. to me, (this is my personal appinion), "i love you" shouldn't be said to someone unless you really, truly mean it with all your heart, and you kno that the other person means it, when they say it back to you. it also shouldn't be just used as something to say to a person, specially when you've only known them for less than a month. love isn't skype/phone/siber sex, or even physical sex, with a person every day, with "i love you" thrown in for good measure. love to me, is something you as a couple work on, and build, not just a sexual relationship, but also a friendship, and a bond with your partner. it's knowing that he/she will always be there for you, and your partner knowing that you'll do the same for them. loving someone is taking the good with the bad, and knowing that someone cares about, and loves you as a person, and them knowing that you care about and love them to. it took me a very bad experience to realize that, but it's life, i guess, and once i did, "i love you" just means to much to me to just say it to anyone, and i haven't. so, be honest, what does love mean to you?
I don't know what love is, but I love you, really, I do.That
Reading your post made me smile because those are exactly my feelings. You gave a pretty good definition of love.
it's just how i feel and have always felt about love. it's special to me, and isn't something to just say to someone for the hell of it, wich it seems like most people do around here, and everywhere else as well. yeah, we all at some point "look for love", but there comes a time where we have to look at ourselves and not do that anymore. i mean, if it makes you happy to jump from one person to the next, then that's your business, but for me personally (just a personal appinion), it's not worth wasting time getting your heart broken time and time again, liking someone who doesn't feel the same as you do. wich is why (apart from friendships) any "zone relationships" are a complete no-no for me, and yes, i am happily taken.
Lmao Liz! Yes, i agree with you on that! I dont really care for online relationships or anything like that.
To me, "I Love You", is not something I say to very many people. Of course, lately I say it to only a couple of guys, and I do love them both, but in different ways. But I dont think I'd ever say that to more than one person and it mean exactly the same thing! I really think about those words before I say them. And as my mom says, "how can someone say they love you, and treat you totally the opposite?" I dont know but I guess some people just have fun breaking hearts!
i agree with you liz, although the person who i'm currently having feelings is from the zone. we have talked a lot however and are trying to meet. guess what i'm saying is to be extremely careful about those three words... make sure it isn't a sham or something to draw you in.
In someone else's words:
Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.
© Louis de Bernières, “Captain Corelli’s Mandolin"
Ok, firstly, what have online relationships got to do with the original point of this topic. Secondly, i think many people have at one point, said those three words, and genuinely believed that they were true. But, from personal experience, it seems to me that we all have the ability to trick ourselves into believing that we are in love, when in actual fact later on, we come to realise that this was not the case. I wonder why?
Going back to the original question, I personally think love cannot be defined, it means different things to different people, in different circumstances. But like all things, we learn from our mistakes, and hope that one day, things will become clearer. I know it sounds cliched, but I believe you'll know when you've found real love, because when you look back at all the other times you said it, you can smile to yourself, and realise how untrue that was, even though you genuinely thought you felt it at the time. I'm not saying that we lie to ourselves, i think it's far more complex than that. I think that perhaps our overwhelming desire to find love earlier than it actually comes along clowds our judgement, and we can make ourselves believe what we want to. That's not to say i don't agree with Liz however, there are some people who use the words i love you without meaning them, whether to get what they want, or in some misguided attempt to spare their partners feelings.
This is just my view.
okay first of all, how can you say "i love you" to two guys at the same time? i kno there are different types of love, but saying "i love you" to a friend or family member is completely different to saying it to someone who you see as a potentual partner in your life. i'm not saying that you can't say you love more than one person, because you can say you love your friends and family, but not in the same way as a bf or gf. second, i only used the on line thing as an example, and the same still applys to an off line relationship as well....for me personally anyway. i don't care if i see the person everyday or not, if i'm going to say "i love you" to someone, i want it to mean something, and not just say it because i think it's what the person wants to here. however, i have to agree with Cam, in that love does mean different things to different people, and that's why i started this in the first place.
to me, i love you means something special. So many times i've heard the meaning wasted. I love you means, i can't wait to see you at the end of the day, after all has gone wrong with the world, i know you'll be right there beside me, but most of all, i love you means, i'll be with you throu everything.
well it is that quote from whoever put it up that has got me. I can identify with it right now from the place that I am in. to paraphrase ... love is what is left when it has all gone.
Yet, those words, "I love you", could make a difference in people's lives. I have friends who I truely care for and to whom I can say with all honesty that I love them.
However, as pumpkin bro said in post 8, "...love cannot be defined, it means different things to different people, in different circumstances." and I agree with that.
Random thought: Acting all exclusive and "immune" to the need of being loved is not pleasant but, to each their own.
We all have wants, needs, and desires. When people come together and they have the same wants, needs, and desires, we get love.
So, love is nothing more than a manifestation of the need to fill that void.
Interesting; but, according to my view that's simplifying love a bit too much.
Wants, needs, and desires are exactly just that; wants, needs, and desires. Mashing them up together doesn't give you love.
It's like looking in a mirror. We say "ah, so and so has these qualities...we match up."
So perhaps my definition was to simplified.
It's more than wants, needs, and desires. It's the persons...essence. I doubt that made any sense.
Love means... unconditional love, trust, a bond that can't be broken. Love to me means that not only is my partner my lover but my best friend, the one I can always confice in, the one who will stand by me no matter what, as I will do for them. Love means so much that just can't be described. Love is a bond so deep that you are sometimes almost literally telepathic. Love is when you know, without a doubt, that you belong together. I can't describe it really, I know I'm not doing it any justice here.
hahaah i agree with cam and chelsea.
also i say i love you every time she swallows lol, prob why i haven't said it in awhile.
but seriously we all have been in love and probably hurt or have hurt some one with love and i am speaking also of both sides of that experience sadly.
agreed whole-heartedly cam!
love is too complicated to try and explain, we love each person in different ways that we can't even begin to compare and describe what love means! i mean, hell, i love my dad, but i don't love him the same way ia i would love ...a a very close friend of mine! hell, love is all sorts of different things and means different things to different people! o hell, i'm just rambling now, i don't make any sense...aaah well, that's what comes when you're trying to define love!
love is an unpredictable animal, that's for sure. yeah, there are different kinds of love, wich makes it even harder to define. like Kia said, you can love a family member, but it's not the same love as a partner, and not the same love you have for a friend either. i mean, i could tell my best friend that i love them, but that doesn't mean i want to date them or anything like that, same with my brother or sister. it's just a different love that you have for thoes people, because they're special to you, and will be in your life from the day your born til the day you or they die, unlike partners who, sadly will come and go, until you find the one you want to "spend the rest of your life with". however, sometimes that doesn't work out either, so we fall back on the other kind of love wich is always there for us no matter what...the love of family and friends.
well said
You've hit the nail on the head with this one Liz; my thoughts exactly girl! :)
Someone mentioned unconditional love...it's a nice thought indeed...but nothing is unconditional in this world.
that's true, but if that's the way some people see love, then who are we to judge that? like has been said countless times, love means different things to different people, and maybe unconditional love does mean something to someone. i mean, just because one person doesn't believe it exists, doesn't mean another person can't believe it does. i don't think there ever should be conditions on love, but that's just me. think about it, would you say to a partner who you were totally in love with, and could see a future with, "i love you but if i see someone else who i find more attractive than you, i'm going to cheat on you with them, and you either have to live with that, or leave me". or, "i love you, but if you don't love me a certain way, i don't want you any more". that, to me is just fucked up, and if people say yes to that, then they need to have their heads examined.
I must do this!
Do you all really want to know what love is?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvfPOfOJShA
that is fucked up, and in my opinion, it wasn't love to begin with..if the person is waiting for something better
Umm I can find better HP videos than that one.
Then, please do...
Do you like Harry/Ginny or Harry/Hermione or what pairing? I don't want to go off topic here though.
then don't. take your Harry Potter fiction somewhere else. it's got nothing to do with this topic. Janelle, it was just an example, but your right it's not love to begin with if someone says that to their partner who they're meant to love.
Um, it was sarcasm...
hahahaha
Wowo, what happened to the love?
lol alex your a loser, lol
alex? i will always love you! that's where all the love went! i'm giving it all to you! rofl
-Kia
Thank you, I thought there was some love left in here.
How lovely, so much love, what shall I do with it?
*Stands on a balcony, and lets drops of chocolate covered love, fall on to a lovely crowd.*
Of course there are many definitions of love, romantic love, familial love, spiritual love, but I’m taking it that here, we are referring to romantic love, between two reciprocating people.
Once, I heard love as described through four words, unfortunately, I can only remember three of them: trust, admiration, respect, and I will add the last; desire.
*sprinkles Caramel covered love drops for those in the crowd who are allergic to chocolate.*
Now, what to do about those lovely diabetics…
give them diabetic chocolates? lol, the topic is "your deffinition of love", so it was an open thing. just because speritual love hasn't been talked about, doesn't mean it's not important. i just didn't talk about it, cause it usually ends up a relidgous war. lol
Some people believe in unconditional love and some don't...that's fine. I was pointing out that everything in this world is conditional.
All human interactions are based on conditions. We say:
"if you act like this I won't accept you" or "If you drink to much I'll leave you."
These are horrible examples but you get the picture.
Well said margorp.. I am just remembering very well when you .. nevermind LOL but love is different to people.. I say love is respect for a person, trust, and honesty.. And there has to be respect
My definition of Love is a little different..
I watched the CBC TV show Beauty and the Beast from 1987-1990, I always considered myself the beast, cause of my disabilities, and the way I look..
I am a hopeless romantic, and want/need a strong, intelligent, cuddley, attentive, and emotional man to suit me..
He's gotta be positive, cuddley, thoughtful, a little daring and most of all patient, and strong-willed!
My definition of love is deeper than most, it is when a man can come into my life and just show me that he is special, different than all the rest I've been with, not going to betray me, not going to lie, cheat, or steal, or do drugs/drink to excess...
the guy has to be very much like me, in tastes, thoughts, and feelings, and most off all, I want a man that can BE A MAN, not a whiny sniveling sack of crap, not a mommys boy, not a control freak, not a anal retentive asshole... but BE A LOVING MAN!
I meant CBS TV SHOW...
Would you agree that the more one says the phrase, "I love you," to people, the more meaningless those words become? I'm referring to what happpened between myself and my ex. He's one of those people who will tell the girl he's dating, "Love you," every five to ten minutes or so. Even then, it's not a heartfelt, "I love you." It's more of a quiet, "love you babe." that drove me nuts. He constantly addressed me as "baby." For fuck's sake, I have a name ...
If he's still single and depressed, I'm happy.
As I stated in another topic which you should all go read, there is two definitions of the phrase "I love you." but yes it's over used.